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Last update: 3.29.98

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	April 3 A Cool Dry Place Lost in Space Mercury Rising April 10 Baby Geniuses City of Angels The Odd Couple 2 Music From Another Room Species 2 April 17 Homegrown Major League: Back to the Minors Nightwatch Without Limits

Deep Impact: May 8
Godzilla: May 20
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas: May 22
X-Files: June 19 1998
Armageddon: July 1
Lethal Weapon 4: July 10
Virus: August 29
Hulk: Summer
Carrie II ?: Fall
Freddy vs. Jason: 1999
I Still Know What You Did Last Summer: October
Halloween 7: October 31
Eyes Wide Shut: 1998
Rendezvous with Rama: Midnight of New Year's Eve 1999
James Bond 19: November 19, 1999
Superman Lives: 1999
Toy Story 2: 1999
Blade: Summer '98
The Avengers: Summer '98
Meet Joe Black: Summer '98
Mighty Joe Young: Summer '98
The Truman Show: Summer '98

1. A wealthy man came home from a gambling trip and told his wife that he had lost their entire fortune and that they would have to drastically alter their lifestyle.
"If you will just learn to cook." he said, "we can fire the chef."
"Fine," she said. "And if you learn how to make love, we can fire the gardner."

2. A hunter snuck up on a duck and was about to fire when the duck yelled, "Don't shoot and I'll give you a hot stock tip!"
"Okay," the hunter replied. "What's the stock?"
"It's a company called Sounds Like a Duck," the fowl said. "It manufactures a duck call, and the share price went up two points last week.
The hunter immediately went home and bought a thousand shares, figuring if anyone could determine an effective duck call it would be a duck. But just two weeks later the company went out of business. Furious, the hunter drove back to the pond to get an explanation.
"I just lost thousands of daollars because of your lousy tip," the hunter said angrily.
"Big Deal," the duck replied. "We just lost our early warning system."

3. A man was at the drugstore and noticed a young male cashier staring at the pretty girl infront of her. The customer's total came to $14.62, and after handing over $100 bill, she waited for change. "Here you go," said the cashier, smiling as he returned the proper amount. "Have a great day!"
Now he placed his items on the counter. The tally was $32.79, and he, too, gave the cashier $100 bill.
"I'm sorry sir. We can't accept anything larger than a fifty," he said, pointing to a sign stating the policy.
"But you just accepted that last girl's hundred." he reasoned.
"I had to," he said. "It had her phone number on it."

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